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KEEP THE SKIN RADIANT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, LEARN HOW

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When it comes to great skin, the nutrients you put in your body are as important as the creams you put on it.

 Today, we focus on how to keep that skin of yours glowing and radiant for much longer than your wedding day.
1. A cup of green tea a day keeps the wrinkles away
Victoria Yoffie, integrative wellness practitioner and founder of YoffieLife.com says “The catechins (a type of antioxidant) in green tea boost blood flow and oxygen, which improves important nutrient delivery to the skin. The result is smoother and more elastic skin. And promising studies reveal that a combination of green tea and sunscreen enhances sun protection. The higher the quality of the green tea — think loose leaves over pre-packaged tea bags — the more potent the effects.”

2. Bone broth is big these days. And with good reason, says Be Well Health Coach Katrine van Wyk. “Bone broth (from beef, chicken, lamb or fish) is a rich source of collagen — the main structural protein of connective tissues. Collagen helps to both improve the elasticity of the skin and fight wrinkles. Bone broth also boasts great healing properties for the digestive system. We know there’s a strong connection between the skin and our digestive system — so taking care of it will ultimately also lead to healthier looking skin!”

3. Fat can be your friend, says Yoffie. “Monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats — health-supportive fats — act as natural moisturizers to keep skin supple and glowing. Add half an avocado or a quarter cup of pumpkin seeds to your next salad or add 3 ounces of salmon or mackerel to your weekly meal plan.”

4. Check into the triple-crown benefits of chia seeds, incorporating them into smoothies, mixing into oatmeal or adding to almond milk to make chia pudding. The takeway? Super-seed chia “Fights both inflammation and puffiness — plus, it improves digestion,” says Tricia Williams, culinary holistic nutritionist at foodmattersnyc.com.

5. Drink your greens. “Dark, leafy greens like spinach, kale, Swiss chard and collard greens are loaded with minerals and vitamins — and are full of protective antioxidants that help our cells fight off damage from pollution, says van Wyk, author of Best Green Drinks Ever. “Greens also help reduce inflammation, which can calm any skin irritation and acne. A green juice loaded with leafy greens, some cucumber, lemon and just a small amount of fruit is a perfect pick-me-up for the skin!”

6. You can indulge your sweet tooth and benefit your skin, says Yoffie. “Cocoa flavanols, powerful antioxidants in dark chocolate, protect the skin from cellular damage caused by free radicals and help make the skin firmer, smoother and softer. For the best results choose chocolate that contains at least 70 percent cacao and to keep any extra pounds from appearing on your waistline while still reaping the benefits, limit your intake to a 1-ounce portion or the equivalent of 150 calories.”

7. Start at the top — and improve your scalp and hair. “Blueberries are well known for their powerful anti-aging properties, but they’re also rich in vitamin C, which is critical for circulation to the scalp and healthy hair follicles,” says Rebecca Fuller, RD, dietician, Fashion Institute of Technology and Coles Sports Center at NYU. “Increased circulation to the scalp aids in preventing dandruff, psoriasis, and other scalp conditions, as well as promoting faster hair growth. It can take approximately three months for dietary changes to show up in your hair, so be patient and enjoy the other benefits of blueberries, such as improved memory and improved blood pressure.”

Photo Credit: Terry Doyle

Text Credit: Bridal Guide

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15 Secrets of Happily-Married Couples – Part Four

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On a concluding note, we would like to stress that you don’t Forget About Yourself and that you should Nurture Your Relationship. The following tips will help in no small ways

  1. “Me” Time for Everybody 
    “We take our “me” time seriously, and though it may not work for everybody, it works for us. Absence makes our hearts grow fonder. Take a lot of vacations…separately. Develop a lot of hobbies and enjoy them….separately.” —Mary and Eric, married 42 years
  2. Embrace Your Individuality
    Don’t look to your spouse to save you or complete you. Be your own person, and be true to yourself. Never use the words “We think!” Don’t change who you are to accommodate another person. In the long run, it will only make you miserable.” —Cheryl and Mark, married 38 years
  3. Friendship First, Last, and Always 
    “You can’t have a successful marriage without friendship. Over 30 years ago, we became really good friends. We hung out with each other’s group of friends and we became really close. After about a year and a half, we started to add romance into the mix and became serious. 30 married years later, we are still best friends who are always honest with each other and loyal to each other.”—Max and Kathy, married 30 years
  4. Unplug to Reconnect
    “Listening to each other and really being present when you spend time together is essential. Be tuned in, not tuned out. If you are trying have a conversation, both parties need to put down the phone or Ipad, turn off the TV, and really pay attention to each other.” —Julie and Billy, married 10 years

See you at your 80th wedding anniversary.

We care.

 

Credit: Susan Pevaroff Berschler

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15 Secrets of Happily-Married Couples – Part Three

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In the penultimate edition of our series on how to sustain your marriage. We look at Setting Ground Rules

  1. Play by the Rules 
    “In our house, there are rules. Some are silly — for example, there must always be walkways. Translation: Don’t put your stuff in my way. Shoes must find their way into the closet, or one day you might come home to find a masking tape arrow laid out on the floor pointing the way. There are other rules that are more serious. When something bothers you, speak up. There’s no loss of power in saying ‘I was wrong. I’m sorry.’ It’s hard to stay mad at someone who apologizes. Relationship before ego.” —Cindy and Terry, married 38 years
  2. Stay True to Your Core Values
    “What we’ve told the kids is that if you have shared core values, you’ll be approaching things from the same perspective. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and every marriage has its ups and downs. But when you have a meeting of the minds on the big issues, you know you will united in your approach to solutions. And he travels a lot, which helps!” —Karen and Andy 31 years
  3. Equal Division of Labor 
    “We have an inside manager and an outside manager. The other serves as an apprentice in our respective domains. Whoever cooks doesn’t clean up. One grocery shops; the other does the laundry. We have learned over the years to never complain about the job the other does. Shrink my best sweater? No problem, I can buy a new one. Botch a recipe? No problem, we can order in. We tend to laugh at our mistakes. Attitude is everything.” —Cindy and Terry, married 38 years

 

Credit: Susan Pevaroff Berschler

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15 Secrets of Happily-Married Couples – Part Two

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Having learnt the first five secrets to enjoying a lifelong marital bliss with the spouse of your youth, we move a step further to important communication strategies in a marriage as expounded by veteran married couples.

How to Communicate

  1. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
    “We live in a ‘free speech’ zone. When you trust that someone loves you and is committed to you, it gives you the freedom to speak your mind. Nobody is walking out the door simply because you have something to say that is difficult or unpleasant to hear. That said, we try to be truthful, not hurtful. Even in the heat of an argument, think before you speak. Never say anything you can’t take back!”—Susie and Jerry, married 30 years
  2. Don’t Take It Personally 
    “Though we share core values, we have such different personalities that Andy’s mother suggested we take the Myers-Briggs personality test early in our marriage to help us understand one another. The test helped us realize we are polar opposites about many things, and when we disagreed on issues, it was not that either one of us was trying to be difficult; we are just hard wired differently. We’ve had to learn to respect each other and be tolerant of our differences.” —Karen and Andy, married 31 years
  3. Never Lose Your Sense of Humor
    “Sense of humor is imperative — don’t leave the wedding venue without it. Apart from health and the welfare of our children, there is no situation that cannot be improved with a generous helping of laughter. It really is the best medicine. It’s okay to fight when you have to, but make sure you always leave ‘em laughing!” —Susie and Jerry 30 years
  4. Sometimes, Silence is Golden
    “If you want to be happy for the rest of your marriage, never give your spouse advice on the golf course/tennis court/whatever sport or activity you are doing together. Never. Unless you want a really silent ride home.” —Jerry and Susie, married 30 years

To a healthy marital life!

 

Credit: Susan Pevaroff Berschler

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15 Secrets of Happily-Married Couples – Part One

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Susan Pevaroff Berschler says planning a wedding is stressful, challenging, and exhausting, but also joyous, exciting, and unforgettable. True, and we also know it should perfectly prepare you for the adventure that is marriage?

Today, we look at four exciting tips.

Here, veteran married couples with a wide variety of field experience, from a decade of enthusiastically saying “I do” to over 60 years of successfully dodging marital mortar fire share their perceptions:

  1. Never Go to Bed Angry
    “When we were first married, somebody gave us this advice: Never go to bed angry. It’s an oldie but goodie, and we have passed it along to others. Whatever is bothering us, we talk it out before we go to sleep so each day, we wake up with a clean slate and a fresh perspective. Saying ‘yes dear’ a lot doesn’t hurt either!” —Johanna and Brian, married 11 years.
  2. Don’t Keep Score
    “When you see that something is really important to your spouse, it’s not losing or giving in to let them have their way. It is caring enough about another’s feelings to support and honor what is important to them. You will find if you compromise some of the time and they compromise some of the time, everybody wins.” —Julie and Billy, married 10 years
  3. Learn Each Other’s Argument Style
    “We tend to approach conflict resolution differently. Steve is not a talker; whatever the issue, his healing process is simply the passage of time. For me, the more time that passes without discussion, the more whatever it is escalates. After 29 years, we have learned to meet somewhere in the middle by addressing the problem with conversation but not beating a dead horse. Don’t get me wrong. I can beat it to death, but once it is down for the count, we’re done. Enough said.” —Marcie and Steve, married 29 years.
  4. Forgive and Forget
    “Learning how to fight has been key. Not holding a grudge makes for a happy marriage. When we argue, we duke it out verbally, then kiss and make up, usually with a shot of tequila — maybe two shots depending on the severity of the disagreement. Then we move on like nothing ever happened. It works every time! It’s important to keep moving forward and not dwell on garbage from the past. So the key to a long and happy married life: A bad memory!” —Donna and Jay, married 42 years

 

Credit: Susan Pevaroff Berschler

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Kiss Me: The Do’s & Don’t To Being A Great Kisser

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A new study conducted among 900 men and women has found that kissing plays a crucial role in human courtship because it alerts us to “hidden biological cues indicating the genetic fitness or desirability of a potential mate”. In relationships, a kiss is more than a touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person as Wikipedia defines it. There are rules to kissing and these rules are what I will talk about today.

And here are the rules:
1. Check your breath: We know, discussing hygiene takes the punch out of passion, but this is elementary. If your mouth smells foul, you’ve lost round one even before you’ve begun. Which is why you have toothbrushes, mouthwash gargles and mint chewing gum. Keep your teeth, gums and breath healthy. While this applies to both sexes, it’s especially vital for men, because research has proved that women depend on taste and smell in mate evaluation.

2. Judge timing: Circumstance is a player and context is key. Pick the right moment, not any moment is right. Before deciding if the moment is right, you should ask yourself if your partner keen to kiss you too at that moment? Will they allow you into their personal space? It’s best if you run an easy test. Deliver a friendly peck on her neck or lift the hair out of her face. If she doesn’t recoil, the signal’s green and you should go for it.

3. Focus on the job: There will always be distractions, but a good kisser is one who shuts out the universe and stays in the moment (a  good kisser makes every other thing oblivion). Feel your breath mix with your partner’s. And relax. Your lips can’t be tense. And keep the pressure balanced. If it’s too light, you may come across as lukewarm. If you push too hard, you are uncouth.
4. Use your imagination: Kissing is an important step in foreplay, but you needn’t make it obvious that it’s a means to an end. It can’t be mechanical. And hit erogenous zones besides the lips. For men, it varies from the nape of the neck and back of knees to even nibbling of the ears. For the ladies, a kiss on the inner thighs and a caress of the wrists are equally turning on.
5. Match rhythm: kisses have gradations. They vary in spend and pressure. They vary from gentle to passionate, with a pause taken in between for breathing. React and reply to your lover’s lip cues. Lead aggressively when they let up; be the patient recipient when they are in the mood to play choreographer. Remember to catch your partner’s eye in a while. It can get annoying to have someone pinch their eyelids shut each time they kiss. It helps build an emotional connect.
6. Watch your hands, Use your hands: A kisser who moves nothing but the lips comes across as frozen (up! so deep frozen). But be aware of where they are going. Clutching him/her by the waist close to your groin suggests you mean business. Touching the chin gently or fiddling with the other’s fingers is about playfulness. Holding them firmly by the neck could mean, “This one’s going to take a while”. Before you allow them to stray anywhere else, make sure you are in a position to take liberties. Ferociously clutching a clump of hair isn’t permissible, unless it’s S&M you’ve planned.
7. Debate tongue use: Some believe tongue use must end when you earn your graduation degree, but there are those who swear by its power. This one’s tricky and will take practice. No one likes being suffocated with a tongue shoved down the larynx, so make sure your tongue doesn’t exit your mouth. Meeting the other at ‘gates’ is fine. The lick can come to good use, especially when you run your tongue over your lover’s slightly parted lips

And there you have it. Bet you are a great kisser already *winks!

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